Every Thursday I share a WIP or art project that I’m working on! Most Thursdays, I’ll also some thoughts that came to me while working on the piece that I share.
I grew up in hell. My father was a raging alcoholic, and my mother was a classic enabler who also liked to snort cocaine. I was abused physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually until I was about 22 — even after I moved out of my parents’house because I grew up not knowing what a healthy, stable relationship looked like.
Sometime in my early teens, I made a decision that I wanted to learn better ways of handling problems and dealing with people, but I still made a lot of mistakes. I ended up married to an abusive guy with a drug problem, despite my best efforts to choose a healthy partner.
After I got a divorce, I felt like I had screwed up so much that even my best wasn’t good enough, and I couldn’t be sure enough of my own instincts to keep myself safe. So, I went on this quest to learn to be healthy all over again.
That was 20 years ago, and I’m still learning. I still make mistakes. I still have edges that don’t match up. I still don’t always choose the healthiest relationships, even though I’m trying.
But, I’ve changed. I don’t mind being human now. I don’t beat myself up for not being perfect or not making perfectly healthy choices all the time.
A while back, I created this diamond design with the intent use it for some print on demand products. I’m not sure what happened with the edge here. I tried really hard to make sure that all the overlay layers lined up, but something was off.
I posted the finished design on my Rose F Art Facebook page, and I asked couple of friends there what they thought of the design, whether the mismatched edge would bother them, or whether they would just assume that the unevenness was part of the design.
My friends both loved it and immediately demanded that I put the design on sale, imperfections and all.
Unfortunately, the imperfection of that edge was driving me up the wall, so I spent a few more nights working on the design and ultimately came up with one that I liked better.
My friends still liked the old one and wanted me to put the old one up for sale. So as hard as I tried to make the design perfect, the people looking at it didn’t see anything better when all the edges matched up. I think it’s the same with people.
Everybody has some messy edges. It’s great if you want to try to grow and improve yourself, but also remember that you are fine the way you are. People like you as you are, and they think you are beautiful, imperfections and all.
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