Goal Setting Tip: Choose Self-Compassion

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There’s something I hate that goes around the internet all the time.  I see it in memes and inspirational pep talks from bloggers and entrepreneurs.  It’s this idea that you can “choose” to be happy just by thinking positively about any situation.

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Case Study: Problem Solving Worksheet

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Hi, guys! Today I’m going to share an example of how I used yesterday’s problem solving worksheet to help me work through something.  I tend to over-think things and get overwhelmed, so this process helps me a lot by breaking things down into smaller pieces and forcing me to use my logic instead of becoming distraught.

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10 Questions to Help You Write Through Any Problem

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Have you ever had a problem or a decision to make that was so complicated or high-stakes that you kept putting it off? Or maybe no matter how long or how hard you tried to figure out what to do, you were just stumped? I’ve got 10 questions that will help you focus and work through it with less stress and more results.

 

I’ve always relied on a small group of friends to help me work through problems.  In 2015, most of those people had new priorities and work around so much.  So I had to learn a new way to work through my problems.  I still find it useful to have another person to listen and provide feedback, but this method will work with or without a listener.

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Goal Setting Tip: Channel Yoda

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Remember—even though I encouraged you to “try again” yesterday, there’s no such thing as “I’ll try.” You make up your mind to succeed. You do.  Or do not.  Setbacks aren’t failures, they’re part of your learning process.

Goal Setting Tip: You Only Fail If You Stop Trying

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You only fail if you stop trying. Every experience has value.

I have 10 years worth of unfinished, unpublishable stuff for a vampire series that I couldn’t make work. I haven’t given up, but I’ve put it aside for the time being.  It was not a failure! It taught me enough to know how to make the foxes work better. Brought me to where I am right now, to WordPress, to blogging.

I was evicted from my first apartment because I got involved with a loser and let him bully and intimidate me into not paying my rent to support his drug habit.I lived 6 months in a homeless shelter.  Lost everything I had.

It was the biggest screw-up ever. It was a mistake.  But you know what? I DID NOT FAIL.  I made a horrible mess of my life, and in the process of putting it back together, I learned everything that I bring to this blog today.  Stop beating yourself up for your mistakes.

Learn what works and what doesn’t.  If you feel discouraged, breathe, and look for a way to learn from your situation before you try again.  Then, try again!

Goal Setting Tip: Find the RIGHT Competiton–Yourself!

Goals

Compete with yourself, not your friends and colleagues. I see LOTS of people who say “competition motivates me.”

And yet, month after month, those are the people wondering why they can’t finish their projects, whose social media is full of “I swear I’ll do better…!”

There’s nothing wrong with competition– but don’t set the bar by another person’s performance!  You are setting yourself up for a lot of unhealthy behavior and comparisons!

Competing with others will give you a short burst of enthusiasm.  It won’t help you stay in for the long haul, and it will make you dependent on a partner for your productivity.  What happens when that person has no time to be your motivational goad?