Your Imperfections Are Just Fine Part Two: so Your Efforts to Improve Yourself

Every Thursday I share a WIP or art project that I’m working on! Most Thursdays, I’ll also some thoughts that came to me while working on the piece that I share.

I’ve been on a continuous quest for self-improvement or self-development since my early teens. I say “quest for” instead of “journey of” because for a long time I felt like there was some ultimate goal or place or way of being that I was supposed to be striving towards.

I thought, without ever having made the conscious connection, that there was going to be a magic moment when all of my efforts paid off and I suddenly realized that I was this healthy, well-adjusted, nice person who knew how to be friendly and nurturing and all of the things that I had never seen modeled in my childhood.

Like I said last week, I grew up in hell. I was abused from a really young age in just about every way imaginable. Somewhere along the line, I realized that I wanted to learn how to treat people better.  I wanted to be a kinder, gentler, more well-adjusted person than the adults in my household, but I had no models for that. I didn’t know how to become what I wanted.  I only knew that what I saw and felt at home was painful.  So I set out to attain that goal thinking that there was something “wrong” with the way I currently was.

Eventually, I started to learn self-acceptance, and then I struggled with the whole idea of personal development or self-improvement or whatever word you want to use. I didn’t have a healthy models to follow, so I questioned everything I did. Was it okay to try to improve? Could I accept myself the way I was and still want to grow and learn how to be different?

Last week, I also shared this diamond design and I told how, even when I fixed the imperfect edge, my friends liked the original design better. I didn’t. I wanted to improve it. But part of me felt guilty for trying to “fix” the thing instead of just accepting it for what it was and being happy that my friends liked it in all of its imperfection.

I realized I was doing the same thing to this poor little diamond design that I used to do to myself. First, I struggled to accept the diamond’s imperfection. Then I struggled with my own desire to improve as an artist and to make my creation more in line with the vision I had for it.

The first step in a healthy journey of self improvement at personal development is compassionate acceptance for where you are. To allow yourself to relax and know that you are 100% fine the way you are. Then, from that place of acceptance, the next step is to give yourself the space to grow and change and become what you know that you can be.


Everybody has some messy edges. It’s great if you want to try to grow and improve yourself, but also remember that you are fine the way you are. People like you as you are, and they think you are beautiful, imperfections and all.

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Free Social Media Banners + Motivation

Here are 4 Free Social Media Banners with PSD Template included.  These work well with short motivational phrases or one word.  Images are Public domain.

social media banners rainbow mountain desert outdoor hope dreams encouragement

So, I felt a little nervous putting these out today.  They’re not my usual style, and seem off-brand.  We’re told in the online business world to stay consistent and on brand at all times.

But then I thought, “Fuck it, this is what I feel like sharing today.” So here you go.

I’ve been struggling a lot this year.  My grandfather died in February after a long fight with Alzheimer’s.  There have been a run of other family problems too.  I wrenched my shoulder badly in March and the fucker is still hurting.  (I use a wheelchair, so arm injuries are pretty serious and take forever to heal.)  I was sick and incapacitated for most of April.

May has been a wobbly process of getting back on my feet and trying to catch up.

If I’m being honest, the past 4 years or so has been a series of shitstorms, injuries, and loss.

So I’ve gotten used to riding the storm out, keeping my head above water, and then cleaning up to take another shot.  It’s not easy, though.  And I know I’m not the only one.

So what I want to tell you is, keep going.  It’s okay to want things.  It’s okay to reach for them.  It’s okay to be frustrated, and tired, and pissed, but you have to keep going, keep reaching, keep trying, because that’s the only way to the other side.  You have to keep finding hope because without it you’re well and truly fucked.

 

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